Mary Jane's Last Dance

I'm tired of screwin'up, tired of going down, tired of myself, tired of this town.

Tom Petty is pretty damn awesome. Weird looking dude, but awesome. Much like Jeff Goldblum.

I came to a realization today, my work life is gradually starting to mix in with my social life. I'm starting to really connect with some of the people there and that's a tremendous thing, since I rarely connect with people, simply by choice. I'm very much a loner, a wanderer at heart. If I had the means, I would travel constantly and never set down roots anywhere. I didn't pick the internet handle of Nomad cause I thought it was cool, it has an actual meaning to me.

But things change, yeah? Sort of been a theme for me the last few weeks I suppose. I'm sick of stagnating and I've taken some really good and important steps lately to stop me from doing just that. I see people who are unhappy in the lives they've settled into and they've grown bitter as they've gotten older and I can easily see that happening to me.

There's a woman at work who's been really pushing me to take a more active role there, be more of a leader. I impressed her at some point with my leadership skills one day when most of the higher ups were at an off site meeting and she thinks I'm a natural for it. She's pointed out to me all the ideas I've come up with lately and how some of the work we do has changed for the better because of them. And she's right, things at work have really picked up for us and we're in a good groove now. She's even telling me to go back to school and pursue writing like I've wanted to. Which I should do. I really do want to.

And hearing all of this from someone who isn't yourself? Well, that can really light a fire under you because someone on the outside has seen these good qualities in you and is encouraging you to pursue them. That's been a tremendous boost to my ego, and I really needed it. I was in a pretty big downward spiral in regards to my self esteem.

So I took another step today at work and spoke with my supervisor for about half an hour about the possibility of me taking on more responsibility at work and getting a promotion and she seemed very open to it. She commented on how energized I am lately and that my morale seems to have really gone up be leaps and bounds this last month. And all of that is true and it excites me. I feel genuinely excited by these potential opportunities. The change in my routine at work has really opened my eyes to different aspects of my life. When I'm at home now, I truly am trying to avoid all of my bad habits, all of the things that used to really get me down and eat away at me. And there's been a few stumbling blocks, this hasn't all been a breeze, but it has been easier than I thought it would be, mostly because I have the desire to change now. I can't just sit on my ass and wait for things to happen because that's how life ends up passing you by, and life has moved very quickly lately. It is time I hitch a ride and see where it takes me.

And that brings me to my picture up above. Taken while driving. Yes, I know it's dangerous but the image just struck me as perfect and I had to act. It is just a picture of the tollway on my way home. But to me it represents something. The open road. No obstacles in front of me, plenty of room to stretch out and try new things. Which is exactly what I am going to do.