Who's there?
No picture today as I honestly just forgot. Seriously crazy ass day today. Tomorrow I shall make up for it!
That there is me peeper! One of 'em at least.
I know what you're thinking. You're wondering what the hell that's a picture of. That's five eyebrow hairs I pulled out today because they were TOO LONG. I've gone into phase two of puberty apparently because my god damned eyebrows are growing to insane lengths now. One of them was in my line of sight! Ridiculous eyebrow hair and ear hair. That's my current curse. AWESOME.
Chipotle steak fajita burrito... how I missed you. And how I ate you so very quickly today because you were so very good.
My camera is sort of working. Meaning sometimes it works and most times it does not. But I managed to get this shot today while driving. The office park where my work is located has some nice scenery, and I rather enjoy just going around looking at it all. This is on a nice stretch of road, always liked how it looks and smells. Sometimes you can see ducks and geese wandering around too!
My camera is not working. Just gets stuck on loading up the SD card. Until I get this sorted out, things are on hold. Hopefully just a small bump in the road!
This is a terrible photo, but there were cops all around and I was in my car, ease up! It's a jet. Parked by a building. No idea why.
Bloody hell, I missed Thursday. Completely slipped my mind. In my defense, I've had a lot on my mind.
I've always had a fascination with skies, clouds, and flying. And yet heights and flying scare me.
I've got some damn hairy hands.
I woke up to this staring me in the face. I can't wait until I can take that stupid cone off his head.
Filed under: Crap I Inexplicably Own.
These trucks have been parked by my house for way too long. I'm worried that they're going to tear up the street or something. I'm really sick of construction. But then, this is Illinois. Our roads are in a perpetual state of construction.
So I started my other job duties today. I froze up at one point. I forgot EVERYTHING about how to use our computer system.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Holy hell am I tired.
...but there's just so much that I don't know about you.
Weather has been really nice lately so I've had my window open and I face it when I sleep. Get the good breeze that way. This was the very first sight I had when I woke up this morning. Felt good.
Look like hell. Feel like hell. Don't imagine that will change anytime soon.
Yeah. Think about it.
I spent the better part of Saturday organizing. This is the result of my game organizing, at least part of it. I really need more space. And I'm still torn about how to organize games, by system and alphabetical or alphabetical and not worry about systems. And what if a game's sequel has a different title?! So confusing.
I'm not a copyright lawyer, although I do play one on the Internet, but this seems slightly illegal.
I'm tired of screwin'up, tired of going down, tired of myself, tired of this town.
Tom Petty is pretty damn awesome. Weird looking dude, but awesome. Much like Jeff Goldblum.
I came to a realization today, my work life is gradually starting to mix in with my social life. I'm starting to really connect with some of the people there and that's a tremendous thing, since I rarely connect with people, simply by choice. I'm very much a loner, a wanderer at heart. If I had the means, I would travel constantly and never set down roots anywhere. I didn't pick the internet handle of Nomad cause I thought it was cool, it has an actual meaning to me.
But things change, yeah? Sort of been a theme for me the last few weeks I suppose. I'm sick of stagnating and I've taken some really good and important steps lately to stop me from doing just that. I see people who are unhappy in the lives they've settled into and they've grown bitter as they've gotten older and I can easily see that happening to me.
There's a woman at work who's been really pushing me to take a more active role there, be more of a leader. I impressed her at some point with my leadership skills one day when most of the higher ups were at an off site meeting and she thinks I'm a natural for it. She's pointed out to me all the ideas I've come up with lately and how some of the work we do has changed for the better because of them. And she's right, things at work have really picked up for us and we're in a good groove now. She's even telling me to go back to school and pursue writing like I've wanted to. Which I should do. I really do want to.
And hearing all of this from someone who isn't yourself? Well, that can really light a fire under you because someone on the outside has seen these good qualities in you and is encouraging you to pursue them. That's been a tremendous boost to my ego, and I really needed it. I was in a pretty big downward spiral in regards to my self esteem.
So I took another step today at work and spoke with my supervisor for about half an hour about the possibility of me taking on more responsibility at work and getting a promotion and she seemed very open to it. She commented on how energized I am lately and that my morale seems to have really gone up be leaps and bounds this last month. And all of that is true and it excites me. I feel genuinely excited by these potential opportunities. The change in my routine at work has really opened my eyes to different aspects of my life. When I'm at home now, I truly am trying to avoid all of my bad habits, all of the things that used to really get me down and eat away at me. And there's been a few stumbling blocks, this hasn't all been a breeze, but it has been easier than I thought it would be, mostly because I have the desire to change now. I can't just sit on my ass and wait for things to happen because that's how life ends up passing you by, and life has moved very quickly lately. It is time I hitch a ride and see where it takes me.
And that brings me to my picture up above. Taken while driving. Yes, I know it's dangerous but the image just struck me as perfect and I had to act. It is just a picture of the tollway on my way home. But to me it represents something. The open road. No obstacles in front of me, plenty of room to stretch out and try new things. Which is exactly what I am going to do.
...I'm the only one who knows.
In other news, the White Stripes are still awesome. I've sort of rediscovered them today. Some of those songs can bring back such vivid memories and feelings. It was almost a bit overwhelming today. They made me think of places, times in my past, family, friends that are long gone. Needless to say, I was in a bit of a melancholy mood today.
I've reconnected with some old friends recently. And I mean old, like fifth grade old. And naturally, I can't stop thinking of the past now. Looking back, they were some good times. Sure there was bad stuff now and again, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. Compare that to how things are now, and well, it just makes me miss those days that much more.
And I just found out my friend at work lost her mom in the last few days which is super depressing because she was always really smiley and cheerful every time I saw her. I worry about this sort of thing a lot lately. My mom and dad aren't getting any younger. I gave my mom a hug the other day and I dread the day that I give her a final one.
Anyway.
That picture up there? That's me when I was a smart ass teenager. As opposed to the smart ass adult I grew into. That was during the mythical good times I spoke of above. The dude standing next to me is my brother David, the guy next to him is his friend Peter and in front of David is our sister, Patty. David was in the Navy when this picture was taken, he had come back to visit us on leave and he had driven up in a beautiful old Mustang that I eventually talked him into selling to me, which was awesome! But then it had an accident and caught fire before I could take it from him. C'est la vie. At least I got to drive it a few times and that is what sparked my love affair with Mustangs, something that continues to this very day.
Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day. And do yourself a favor. Hug someone you love, because you don't know when they'll be gone.
You know what I love when you're having a pretty good day only to have it go to absolute hell in the matter of minutes with absolutely no idea how it happened. I am getting pretty used to that and it is not so cool. Not cool at all. I'm contemplating yanking my ethernet cord out of my PC and just update this blog from my phone and make that be my only internet usage for six months at least. I'm not at that level yet, but I'm inching ever closer.
That picture up there? Yeah, more things that aren't cool. $3.03 for a gallon of gas? Whee! Gonna be a good summer!
Also, I'm considering switching over to Wordpress as Blogger is a bit lean on what it can do. We shall see.
Or at least the kid who realized he might be able to. I really look like I'm plotting something here. The other guy there would be my older brother David and the dog is Yenta. I apologize for the quality of these pictures as I took a picture of a Polaroid with my phone. I took a bunch of them, of me as a kid. I'll see what I can do about getting them to look better.
I am no doctor, although I play one on the internet. Gets me lots of girls. But that's for another post. Despite me not being a doctor, even I know that if you were to drink a can of Red Bull that size, your heart would explode. It's a fact.
As an aside, if one's heart were to literally explode, would someone hear it? Could you be talking to someone just after they chugged a can of that stuff and as their heart burst, you could hear it? I think that would be pretty damn scary!
That picture up there? That, and the whiny arguments about games as art, are a large part of why gamers have trouble being thought of as mature.
SONG OF THE DAY: Eagles of Death Metal - I Like To Move In The Night
That handsome bugger? That there is Fluffy! He was a stray cat but he's mine now! Damn straight you're jealous. He's an awesome cat. Rather high maintenance for a cat, but that's okay. He's my best friend. What's that? You think it's weird my best friend is a cat? Maybe it would be if it was any other cat, but we're talking about Fluffy here.
This picture is a bit of a cheat, it isn't a recent one because right now he isn't the most photogenic critter in the world. He's wearing the cone of shame because he scratched up his face and kept aggravating the wound. Which makes him even more high maintenance, but I don't mind.
I just wanted you to see how adorable he is! And yes, I gave him that name. Deal with it!
SONG OF THE DAY: Nine Inch Nails - Slipping Away
This is a healthy breakfast right?
Have I mentioned how very glad I am that the coffee changed at work? Because I am.
Anyway, busy day and I'm tired. But I got this up today so my record stands!
Whiny and emo post ahead. Turn back now if you value your sanity.
This blurry out of focus picture is a toy my buddy Bill gave me. Since I look like a geek he knew I would like it. It's an X-wing toy from a Happy Meal. And to prove I was a geek the first thing I thought when he gave it to me was: This isn't movie accurate, the Taim & Bak KX9 quad laser cannons are missing.
Don't act like you're not impressed. Because, yeah, I'm obviously a real winner...
Today was a mopey day for me. This whole week I've sort of had my head in the clouds, not really able to focus on anything, and just regretting everything. And since I'm being trained on a new job, more on that later as I don't think I've actually told anyone about it yet, it really isn't the right week to get all spazzy and floaty.
It was particularly bad today. I've been pacing around restlessly all day, fluctuating from wanting to be left alone to really wanting someone to talk to. My attention span was a joke, my thoughts kept leaping around to different people and subjects, I couldn't find anything on my iPod that I wanted to listen to, and I really wanted to be anywhere but at my desk. But then, I feel that way a lot. I look around at the people I work with and it just hammers home that I absolutely do not belong there. These are people with educations, families, goals in life. I've worked there five years and I still feel like I'm bluffing my way through everything and I'm dreading the moment my boss comes over and tells me he's realized what a fraud I am.
I realized I barely know anyone there. I probably come across as the single most unfriendly sack of meat these people have ever seen. It isn't that I don't want people to have a good impression of me, it's more that I don't know how to give them one. I have trouble looking people in the eye. I mumble. I sort of just keep my head down and hope no one needs me for anything. Heaven help me if one of the salespeople come over to ask about something because I may actually have to interact with another human being.
In the last few weeks I've taken steps there that I never would have taken before. I've tried to project a friendlier image to people, I volunteered to go along to the next big offsite meeting, I've been trying really hard to seem enthusiastic about work. And I went to my supervisors about an idea on how to change my job duties in a way to lighten my work load since I was essentially the only person covering cases. When you have a lot of salespeople looking to get us business, I can get really swamped and it was obvious I was having trouble keeping up with the new pace of things.
So my supervisors liked my idea and gave me the go ahead to implement it. Now, despite this being done to give me less work, I have managed to give myself more work. I'm now responsible for a team of people, three others to be exact, and I have to delegate and give assignments to them and I have to make sure they're keeping up with their work, as well as keeping up with mine. And on top of that, I'm learning the ropes of another angle of what we do. It is complicated as hell, mostly because our computer system is really fucking archaic. But I'm being trained by Nereida, which is fair I suppose since I trained her a year ago. And I know I'm in good hands since she seems to be pretty good at her job.
Am I happy where I am? No, not really. But I'm content. I really wish I had pursued writing and photography far more aggressively than I did. I really wish I had done more with college. There's a lot about my life I wish I could go back and change, but that just isn't possible. So I need to look ahead and change the course I'm on now. I'm still young enough that it's possible.
And who knows? I may actually get it done this time.
Day two! A new personal record! And I'm altering the plan slightly as there will be a few pictures here. Taken from my car with my phone.
Allergies are really, really kicking my ass today. My eyes feel like they're on fire. Got some eye drops, maybe it will help.
Near where I live there's this road that has stores, gas stations, chain restaurants and fast food joints littering it. It is, to be nice, an eyesore. One of these lots has a bunch of little random stores, a cell phone place, an MRI clinic of all things, and two gigantic empty buildings. One used to be a Dominick's (that's a grocery store for those of you not from around here) and has been empty for years, they haven't been able to get anyone to buy up the property.
The other was a Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart. But this one was particularly terrible. In the entire time I've lived out here I've gone in there less than five times because it was an abominable pit. I can appreciate what this Wal-Mart did by giving people jobs and a place to shop. Which wasn't really needed in this area but whatever, it gave people a choice. Now it is empty because they moved the location a few miles away to a bigger one. So Wal-Mart came in here, bought up this land and built these hideous buildings over what was essentially big wide open areas, and have now abandoned one area. They still own the property and will probably never sell it because whoever buys it will be competing with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm a consumer. I buy things. Lots of things. Not as much as I'd like but still lots. Mostly from online stores, Amazon for example.
So instead of a nice beautiful landscape, we have yet another gigantic and abandoned building. We came out here to get away from this crap and yet it seems to be happening everywhere now. As I've gotten older I've learned to appreciate certain things more, such as having a gorgeous stretch of natural land. Thanks to these greedy bastards, that's more land lost and replaced with ugly buildings, an ocean of cars, and mindless zombies wandering the store looking for a bargain on tube socks. Instead of wide green fields filled with trees and animals.
There are reasons I really dislike the majority of mankind, and that is one of them.
By the way, check out my other blog. It is filled with nerdy things and proves I like to buy stuff.
...cause it's not. It isn't even the "classic" LL Cool J song. But it is the first of what I hope to be something I stick with. For one year, I will do one post a day. These posts will always include one picture I have taken that day. Sometimes it will also have random thoughts such as this. But this is mostly just to get my ass moving on something I really love doing, taking pictures.
These pictures will almost certainly be very boring and rudimentary to most people looking at this. They will either be taken with my phone (T-Mobile HTC G1) or with a camera. The phone camera will be easiest to use and will probably comprise the majority of pictures here, but sometimes something strikes me and I need to take a good picture of it. Click the picture to embiggen. It is a word now. Trust me. My camera will always be in my backpack, so those of you who know me beware! There is a chance you could wind up in a picture here. Yes that's right, INTERNET FAME!
Anyway.
This first picture is what I see when I get to my desk at work every morning. An empty box of chocolate our department got as a Christmas gift. I just kept the box because I thought it was cool. Our procedures manual! Yes, even after five years, I need to read how to do my job. A stuffed version of the classic Tigger, before he got Disneyfied. He has been slightly modified however. My buddy Terry got that snazzy sombrero for him while away on his honeymoon, and he recently made that awesome bandito mustache. Bandito Tigger. And finally, a stick figure version of me being stabbed in the head and spewing blood everywhere. Fitting that it came from a co-worker.
So enjoy! Tim's Project 365 is now a go. Let's see if I can keep with it, eh?
